I’m in midst of my sadness, I was good for a couple of days, but mostly, not.
Yesterday I felt like ending it all, I was contemplating driving my car in the wall, or driving into a truck. Quick, painless death. And than I thought about driving my parents car, and realising they’d be carless. So I stopped the car and cried my soul out. When I came home I had to pretend I’m okay.
I can’t tell them what’s wrong with me. Every time I answer ‘How are you?’ with ‘I am not okay’, they’re scared. So scared.
I tried to release my agony in the gym. I over done myself and nearly fainted in the dressing room. I don’t know why I’m so self-destructive recently. I am not okay.